Seishirou vs. Mamoru
by Karasu no Kage
Summary: Usagi's friend decides to set Usagi up with Mamoru, along with getting her brother a boyfriend. Suddenly Mamoru finds himself with competition, and he doesn't like it. "But I haven't killed him yet!" M/U and Sei/Subaru. Includes the tree from Tokyo Babylo


DISCLAIMER: We own nothing but the story; the Tree's image is owned by Kouri Arashi and the artist who drew the picture (GOMEN NASAI WE DON'T REMEMBER YOUR NAME!). *Angel pops in waving her arms.* I OWN SEI-CHAN!!!!!!! *Princessofplanets hits Angel.* Ignore the baka, she knows nothing, nor does she own anything.

Seishirou vs. Mamoru

By princessofplanets and Angel

E-mail: princessofplanets@hotmail.com and taura12@hotmail.com

Part 1 / 1

Usagi Tsukino gaped at the tall veterinarian, watching in awe as he called out Luna's name. "He is SO hot…!" she breathed softly under her breath. "LUNA! HOW COULD YOU GET SUCH A HOT DOCTOR?!"

Dr. Seishirou Sakurazuka looked up in worry when he heard the above remark, before he heard a familiar high-pitched voice. "SEI-CHAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! We brought you lunch! From McDonalds! Because you don't eat!" Usagi looked over at the voice that rivaled her for volume, and blinked in shock at the person who entered. 

"HOKUTO-CHAN!!" Usagi shrieked.

"USAGI-CHAN!!" Seishirou and Subaru Sumeragi, Hokuto's twin brother, who had entered quietly behind her, sweatdropped and winced at the pitch of the two girls' screams.

"Seishirou-san, can I go in your back room and never come out? I don't think my ears can take much more of this," Subaru asked weakly.

"Of course, Subaru-kun. Would you like me to join you?" Seishirou asked with a leer. Subaru turned bright red and hid his face in his hands. Hokuto, for once, had not heard her brother "flirting", as she was busy catching up on the news from her old friend. 

"…and then, Naru-chan and Umino-kun are probably getting together, except that Naru-chan just lost her old …boyfriend, so she's still really sad about it, but Umino-kun is helping her through it. And Mamoru-baka keeps on tormenting me, but he's a really hot guy, and he'd never want to go out with me cause he's smart and good-looking and in college and he thinks I'm an immature ditz!" Usagi wailed out her problems to someone she KNEW would understand her problems. Suddenly changing her focus, she asked, "So what's new with you?"

Hokuto shrugged. "Other than Obaa-sama telling Subaru to find the Sakurazukamori, nothing much." Neither of the two girls noticed Seishirou choking on air as he glanced at Luna with worry. "It's basically been same-old, same-old. We should really work on YOUR problem." She was silent in thought for a moment. "This Mamoru-san person probably likes you, and just doesn't want to admit it. That's how guys are, right, Subaru?" Not waiting for an answer, which was good since her brother had escaped the madhouse, she plowed on. "We just have to set you two up, right Sei-chan?" An evil grin appeared on her face. "And the best way to set two people up is through jealousy, right, Sei-chan?"

Seishirou looked up, blinking in puzzlement. "What did you say, Hokuto-chan? Sorry, I was too busy with my paperwork." Hokuto sighed and repeated what she had just said. "Uh, Hokuto-chan?" Seishirou pulled the girl away into a corner. 

"Weren't you trying to set me up with your brother? What happened?"

"I am! See, we can make Usagi-chan's crush jealous AND Subaru jealous at the same time! Just follow my every word!" She seemed to grow and towered over the older man. "And you WILL follow my every word, won't you, Sei-chan?" The man gulped, and nodded. "Good. Where's Subaru?"

"He's in the back, with the animals."

"And you didn't join him?"

"I offered. He wouldn't let me."

Hokuto turned back to her friend, and explained her plan. "Ok, here's what we're going to do, Usagi-chan. Sei-chan here will ask you out on a date, and then he'll take you to wherever you usually see this Mamoru-san, and then Mamoru-san'll get really jealous, and then Sei-chan will give you a good night kiss in front of both of them, …or at least Subaru."

"Why would you want Subaru-kun to see?"

"Because I've been trying to set them up for what seems like years, now"

"Five months, two days, six hours, thirty-three minutes." As the two girls turned to stare at him, he looked back at Luna. "I am working on the cat. What a pretty cat. I'm going to go do her in the workroom."

"I thought you wanted Subaru! Sei-chan, you're already a gay pedophile! Don't turn to bestiality, too." Usagi blushed. 

"I meant medically! Honest! Like, take her temperature, or something!" Seishirou realized he'd never persuade Hokuto to believe him. " …I'm going to go take a break now. You two have fun plotting," Seishirou walked out of the clinic, standing on the sidewalk and lighting up a cigarette. 

_'You know, if you actually FED me for once I'd probably try to make you feel better!'_ spoke a voice in his head. Seishirou growled mentally at the tree.

_'I can't feed you until I get a job. If I don't have one by tomorrow I'll go out and find someone.' _ Seishirou sighed; great, now he had an angry tree after him as well as two insane teenage girls. _Can hell be worse than this?_

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The Next Day:

Usagi bounced into the arcade. "Guess what, Motoki-kun? I got asked out on a date by this really hot guy!" Behind her, Mamoru froze in horror. "And, he's older than me, so he's really mature and smart and stuff!" The young grayish black-haired teenager next to her coughed, but waved Usagi on when she turned to look at him questioningly. Shrugging, she continued. "And he's a vet! Isn't that great?" 

Mamoru raised an eyebrow, as he sat down on the stool next to her. "If he's gotten a veterinarian's degree, isn't he a bit TOO old for you?"

"Why do you care, Mamoru-baka? Are you jealous?" 

Mamoru's eyes widened at the suggestion. "Why would be jealous, Odango atama? I just feel sorry for the poor guy for not seeing what you're really like." _I do. He'll probably dump her after one date, because he won't be able to see past that ditzy exterior to the sweetness and caring inside…what am I saying?!_ He shook his head to clear it of the disturbing thoughts flitting around inside it. 

Just then, the door opened and a tall man walked in, glancing around. "SEIIIII-CHAAAAN!" Usagi shrieked, flinging herself at him. 

The man laughed and caught her before she could trip and fall. "How are you, Usagi-chan? Are you ready to…" The deep voice suddenly trailed off as he saw the teenage boy at the counter.

"Sei-chan? Are you ok?" Usagi asked, concerned. 

"Uh, yes. Sorry. Are you ready to go?" 

"YUP! Come on! I know this great ice cream shop nearby! They have all these cool flavors, like…" Still babbling about ice cream, she all but dragged him behind her. The door closed behind them, with Motoki and Mamoru staring at it, and the strange man hiding a smirk. 

Mamoru turned back, furious. "Is THAT her new boyfriend?! He's practically twice her age! That's like robbing the cradle! What is he thinking? Is he a pedophile or something?"

"Actually, he is." Mamoru turned to the man beside him.

"You know him, Mr….?"

"Oh sorry, Mamoru-kun. I never introduced my new friend. This is Sakki Koboku*. I just met him yesterday. Koboku-kun, this is Chiba Mamoru."

"Nice to meet you, Koboku-kun. Interesting name."

"My parents weren't exactly what you would call _normal,_" Koboku said, smiling at some inside joke.

"Yes, well…you know this 'Sei-chan'?"

"Very well, actually," Koboku said. 

"And you say he's a pedophile?" Mamoru asked, leaning closer.

"Ye…well, how old is that girl?" 

"Sixteen years, four months, and fifteen days, "Motoki and Koboku stared at him. "Way too young to be dating that guy! He's probably thirty-four or something! How can she even think of dating him?! He'll be dead by the time she's twenty! He wouldn't try to pull anything would he?" Mamoru asked worriedly, returning his frantic attention to the teenager.

Koboku raised an eyebrow. "A young, beautiful girl like Usagi? Are you kidding? You know, Mamoru-kun, if you're so worried about her, we could always follow them," Koboku said, thinking to himself, _And now I can get that boy back for refusing to feed me!_

Mamoru stared at the teenager beside him in awe. _Why didn't I think of that? _"That's brilliant! If you were a girl, I'd kiss you! Let's go!" Jumping up from his chair, he led the way out of the arcade.

"You two have fun. I have to stay here and work, but tell me everything that happens, ok?" Motoki said, sadly. It would be interesting to see how Mamoru acted around Usagi-chan's new boyfriend.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

"…and they have this really yucky flavor that tastes like old shoes, not that I would know what that tastes like, of course, and they have…"

"I HAVE been here before, Usagi-chan," Seishirou commented with an amused smile. Inwardly, he sighed with relief at having stopped the flood of chatter. _She's almost as bad as Hokuto-chan!_

'_Poor Seishirou,' _commented a familiar voice in his mind mockingly. _'Having fun on your date?'_

_'Not really. What about you?'_

'Even more than I was in the arcade.' 'Speaking of which, why were you there in the first place?' 

'Well, since CERTAIN people here refuse to feed me, I decided to see what exactly was holding you up. And I wanted to try some human food. Remind me never to do that again. I don't see how you can eat that stuff. Give me a good soul any day."

Out of the corner of his eye, Seishirou could see Mamoru and "Koboku" behind a plant, Mamoru obviously trying to be subtle and painfully failing. _'Why don't you try to give the boy some tips on hiding? Anyone can see him. If Usagi-chan turns around, she'll see hi…'_

Just then, Usagi turned around to see what was occupying her "boyfriend". "Ne, Sei-chan, what's …YOU! What are YOU doing here?" She glared at Mamoru, who was looking like he wanted to dig a hole and crawl in. 

"Uh, well, you see, I was, uh…" his voice trailed off weakly as her eyes flashed.

"You were spying on us, weren't you? Ha! You are jealous! But of who, Sei-chan or me?" Usagi giggled, as Mamoru began to turn interesting shades of blue. Laughing out loud, she patted his arm comfortingly. "It's okay, Mamoru-baka, you can admit that Sei-chan is a hot guy." She nodded, agreeing with herself. "And if you're lucky he MAY be bi… Or are you on a date with this guy here?"

Mamoru choked. "ODANGO ATAMA!! I am NOT gay!" People around them in the store stared, making the raven-haired man flush a brilliant red. "DON'T YOU HAVE SOMETHING BETTER TO DO?!" he demanded.

"NO!" all the people called out before returning to their ice cream.

Koboku smirked. "You're right, Usagi-chan. Seishirou is a hot guy." Seishirou gave him a look. Usagi averted her gaze hastily, while Mamoru moved away. "What?" he asked with fake innocence. "DidI say something?"

"Go to your park, koboku," Seishirou sighed. "I'll deal with you later. Come on, Usagi-chan, we should order now." 

He took her arm, but she whispered, "Put your arm around my waist!"

"What?" he hissed back.

"Put. Your. Arm. Around. My. Waist. NOW!" His eyes widened, and he hastily wrapped an arm around her. "HOW did you get to be twenty-five and still not know how to treat a girl on a date?"

"I don't usually date girls, you know."

"Then think that I'm Subaru-kun."

"You're not pretty enough." Usagi's eyes flared with anger, and without warning, Seishirou doubled over in pain.

"Oooow!" 

Koboku snickered. "What, is being punched by a girl too much for you?"

"Do you want me to punch you, too?!" Usagi snapped, turning and holding up a fist.

"No, that's alright. I'll just be going to my park now. Have fun on your …_date_." Koboku turned and dragged Mamoru out of the ice cream shop.

After they had left, Seishirou turned to Usagi. "Do we still have to pretend to be lovers now that he's gone, or can I go?" 

"Don't you want to make your Subaru-kun jealous? He's right over there, if you're curious." Seishirou yanked her closer to him. 

"OW! I need to breathe, you know," she hissed.

"The only way Subaru-kun will be jealous is if you can't stick a ruler between us. I know him."

"I'm sure," she said sarcastically. "Come on, let's get a booth. If we sit at the right angle, it'll look like we're making out." Seishirou barely hid a shudder. "Yeah, yeah, grow up," Usagi commented blandly. "We won't have to make out until he comes over."

"W… what?" Seishirou managed to choke out. "THAT WASN'T IN THE JOB DESCRIPTION!"

"Shut up, he's here," Usagi replied apathetically as she yanked his head down to hers.

_Ok, it's Mamo-chan, it's Mamo-chan, it's Mamo-chan,_ Usagi chanted to herself. All of a sudden, the kiss became more heated. Amazing, considering Seishirou was sitting there like an unfeeling rock.

_Ok, I'm NOT going to throw up, I'm NOT going to throw up. It would be BAD to throw up over …Subaru-kun! I'll just pretend this is Subaru-kun!_ Seishirou thought to himself. However, he couldn't bring himself to do anything more. 

"Ano…this is a public place, you two. Could you stop for a second?" Hokuto's voice broke into their not-so-romantic thoughts. The two gratefully pulled apart from each other. Subaru and Hokuto were standing there, Subaru an unusually pale color. 

"Sorry about that. It's just that we love each other so much, we can't keep our hands off of each other," Seishirou commented, his eyes glued to Subaru.

"You know, _honey,_ we're going to be SOO late to meet my parents." 

Suddenly, from behind them, there was a soft scream. "AHHH! I've never met her parents!" Mamoru wailed. 

"Of course you haven't, dweeb! You're not dating her!" Koboku commented, dryly. 

Seishirou turned to glare at them. "Didn't I tell you to go to your park?"

"You know, I could always tell your mother that you're dating another girl," Koboku warned.

Seishirou paled. "No, that's alright. You don't have to tell Mother anything!"

"Is your mother that against you dating, even now?" Usagi asked curiously. 

Seishirou hesitated. "Well, it's hard to explain. Basically, she's…very protective…of things…that are hers..." 

Usagi blinked. "But you're not a 'thing', Sei-chan!"

"You know, Usagi-chan, I should probably get back to work now. I don't really trust my assistants."  
"But you have to meet my parents!"

"Oh…yeah. Let's go," Seishirou said unenthusiastically. _Great, now I get to be interrogated by some old geezer whose daughter I'm not even interested in. And then I have to wash out my mouth!_ Usagi dragged him out, with Subaru and Mamoru staring after them with heart-broken looks on their faces.

"You had your chance, Subaru! You blew it!" Hokuto said, seeing the look on her little brother's face. 

Subaru turned red. "Wha…what do you mean, Nee-chan?"

"Don't be stupid, Subaru! It's obvious you like Sei-chan, but you missed your chance, and now you can't ruin Usagi-chan's happiness." 

Mamoru leapt up from his seat. "She is NOT HAPPY!!"

"You're not one to talk about happiness," Koboku said after swallowing a bite of blowfish, fully aware that one in sixty were deadly. "And, from what I've seen, you shouldn't be one to talk about Seishirou being a pedophile either, considering you want a relationship with Usagi-chan, which is making you sad that you don't have one."

"I do NOT want a relationship with Usako!" Mamoru declared angrily.

"Oh?" Silence followed the younger man's statement before he shook his head in frustration, picking up the rest of his blowfish with his chopsticks and swallowing it whole. "You should really ask your self, Mamoru-san… Which is more painful, watching Usagi-chan – 'Usako' – fall in love with someone else or being rejected by her?" He turned and left before Mamoru could answer, heading easily toward Ueno Park, finding a particular sakura tree and glancing around quickly before melding into it.

_Where the hell is Seishirou?! the tree demanded to itself. __He SAID he'd feed me today!_

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

"Tadaima!" Usagi yelled, as she entered the house. Seishirou paused at the threshold, unsure if he should enter. 

'Since when have you become a vampire?' 

_'Shut up.' Seishirou went inside the house, taking off his shoes at the door. "Okaa-san! Otou-san! I want you to meet my boy --- Haruka-san! Michiru-san! Uh… What are you doing here?" the blonde's worried voice traveled to him, and he curiously investigated it._

"WHO IS THAT?!" Haruka, a tall blonde, demanded.

"Ano… Seishirou-chan…. I MEAN SAN! desu," she said weakly. Watching Haruka's dangerous glare at the taller, older man, she shrunk in fear.

"WHAT DID YOU CALL HIM?!" Kenji interrogated. "HE'S TOO OLD FOR YOU!"

"Ano… Otou-san… Sei-chan…"

"You called him WHAT?!" Haruka paraphrased.

She rushed at the taller man, who looked down at her condescendingly before asking, "What exactly do you think you are going to do to me?" he asked.

"Let's get one thing straight, Mister," she growled at him. "Koneko-chan is OURS. NOT YOURS!! OURS!"

"Possessive, aren't we?"

"Young man, you will treat our guests with respect!" Kenji said with annoyance. "Not that you're a young man, you look about thirty."

"Today is just not a good day for my ego, is it?" Seishirou muttered under his breath.

'Of course it isn't. Although, if you'd fed me EARLIER, I could have made it better, but NOOOO, YOU were too busy with your little boy-toy to hunt.'

'Just shut up! I don't have time to deal with you right now.' 

"Please excuse me, Tsukino-san. I didn't mean any disrespect to you or your guests." Seishirou bowed, ignoring the jibe about his age. 

Ikuko cut in, trying to bring down the tension, "Please, everyone, come into the dining room. You too, …I'm sorry, I didn't get your entire name."

"Sakurazuka Seishirou."

"Sakurazuka-san, please come in. Kenji, put down the knife. Haruka-san, you too. Everyone sit down, and try not to kill each other." The last sentence was said with steel laced through Ikuko's voice. Everyone sat.

They ate in silence, with nothing but the sound of chopsticks against the plates to disturb it. Suddenly the doorbell rang. "UUUSSSAAAAGGGIIII-CCCHHHAAANNN!"

"Uh, that would be Hokuto-chan, please give me a second." Desperately the girl left the table and quickly answered the door. "Thank Kami-sama!" she breathed to her friend. "If someone doesn't break the tension in there they'll kill each other!" She dragged Hokuto and Subaru into the dining room and smirked as she shoved Subaru into the chair next to Seishirou.

"HERE!" she said cheerfully. "Why don't you sit next to your 'friend' since you don't know anyone else here!" Subaru gave Hokuto and Usagi a desperate look as they sat next to each other and began mindless chatter. Minutes later they began to eat and suddenly the food was gone. Everyone blinked in surprise.

"Well, Usagi-chan, why don't you stay down here and talk with your friends." With a menacing glare at Kenji, Ikuko added, "Your father and I have to talk!"

Silence filled the room while two of the adults left. As soon as they were out of hearing range, Haruka exploded, "Ok, I challenge you to a drinking contest! Then we'll see who the REAL man is!" Hokuto and Usagi started to giggle, as Michiru shot Haruka a glare. 

"Um, how exactly would that determine who the real man here is?" Seishirou asked in puzzlement. 

"That doesn't matter! Usagi-chan, do you have any alcohol?" 

"We don't drink, sorry Haruka-san."

"That's ok! I'll just go out and buy some sake!"

"Wouldn't it be easier if the two of us went to a bar? Or are you not old enough?" 

Haruka's eyes narrowed. "Come on, ojii-san. Let's go." She dragged Seishirou to her car, and all but threw him into the passenger seat.

Michiru's eyes flashed with worry before she sighed and turned her attention to Hokuto, Usagi, and Subaru. "Well. It's been VERY nice meeting you two. How did you and Seishirou-san meet, Usagi-chan?" she inquired.

"Well… Hokuto-chan introduced us. She knew him because he always flirted with Su–" Hokuto quickly muffled her friend with her hand.

"Baka…" she murmured softly, before informing Michiru, "We met Sei-chan when Subaru fell on him at the train station. Subaru hurt himself, so he offered to help because he's a vet. He had the medical stuff."

Subaru blushed beet red, and began trying to think of ways to get out of this situation without being rude. "Nee-chan? I'm supposed to be at a job in half an hour. It'll take me that long to get there, so I have to go. Sorry. Good-bye, Usagi-chan, Michiru-san." Subaru left quickly, before his sister could say anything. 

Michiru suddenly remembered something. "Ne, how are Haruka and Seishirou-san going to get home if they're both drunk?"

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

'How the hell am I supposed to get out of this?' Seishirou moaned to the tree.

'Why would you want to? It's a chance to let loose, get drunk, have fun!'

'Maybe for you! I, personally, don't like losing control. Besides, if I get drunk, how am I supposed to feed you? I can't kill when I'm drunk, you know.'

'Good point. …Oh well. I can go hungry for another day, just to see you drunk. It's not any different from the past six months. '

'Five months, three days, 14 hours, and seventeen minutes, to be exact. Well, if you can last one more day without food, you can last seven.' Without waiting for a reply, he shielded his connection to the tree. Eyeing Haruka, he said, "So, whiskey it is?" The blonde nodded as she brought a bottle of whiskey to the small table they occupied along with two shot glasses. As she poured the liquor she glared at Seishirou. "So… How do you know MY koneko-chan?"

"Usag… Usagi," he said, emphasizing the fact that he didn't use a suffix, "and I met through mutual friends. We stay together because of the… excitement… in our relationship." In her anger Haruka slammed the glass back to the table, almost breaking it.

"Koneko-chan is OURS!" she growled again. "You can't have her! It's our duty to protect her from people like you!"

"And who's us?" Seishirou asked with interest as he poured the two another drink.

"Michiru, the Inners, and I, of course!" Now due to the amount of alcohol the two had consumed their tongues had loosened.

"And who are the Inners?" Seishirou's words were now slurred.

"Ami-chan, Minako-chan, Rei-chan, and Mako-chan."

"Why are they called the Inners?"

"They're the Inner senshi," Haruka explained, downing another shot of whiskey. "Michiru and I are the Outer senshi."

"Ah. Those superheroes who run around Tokyo in miniskirts?" Seishirou was confused. How did Haruka-san have anything to do with the Sailor Senshi? "Who's Sailor Moon?"

"Usagi-chan. She's our princess, too, which is why we have to protect her." She frowned, repeating herself due to her drunkeness. "So I need to know how you two met."

Seishirou swallowed another shot. "Usagi and I met through mutual friends. We stay together because of the… excitement… in our relationship." The tall man swayed, slurring his speech further as he ordered another bottle. "The mutual friends were Hokuto-chan and Subaru-kun." He added with a pout, "Subaru-kun never flirts with me. I FLIRT WITH HIM! Why won't he flirt with me?" He sniffed for a subconscious added effect.

Haruka blinked in surprise. Frowning in confusion she slurred, "You're gay?"

"IT'S NOT MY FAULT!" Seishirou wailed. "I DIDN'T CHOOSE TO BE GAY! It's all the tree's fault!"

"What tree?"

"My soul-eating tree," he said, nodding drunkenly. "You know, he made choose Subaru-kun? I'd just killed that little girl, and along comes this adorable little boy, and the tree decided that he wanted the kid, so I decided to make a bet with him that he couldn't make me feel emotions. So far, he's winning, but don't tell him that. I have to kill him at the end of the year, anyway. I'll miss him. I wonder if I could find another play-thing as cute as he is."

Haruka blinked again. "Oooook, you have a screwed up love-life. But you're dating Usagi-chan."

"I am? Why didn't I know about this?"

"Oh, don't worry about it. Minako-chan does the same thing to me. She says she's dating me, but I didn't know that. Michiru made me sleep on the couch for a week after that." She thought for a moment, frowning in concentration. "She does  that a lot…"

"Well at least you're getting some!" Seishirou protested. "I don't even have that! Subaru-kun's such a prude, he won't even flirt!!!!!!!" The man sobbed dryly.

They downed another glass. "You know, I hate these small glasses!" Haruka commented. "Let's get some real men's glasses! We need TALL glasses!"

"YEAH!" Seishirou agreed loudly. He stomped over to the counter. "We need two man's glasses!" he demanded loudly. "You know, those tall… thingys. GIVE ME TWO!"

The bartender frowned in worry as he motioned over to a bouncer. "Yes, and are you willing to pay for them?"

Seishirou slapped down a million yen**. "GIMME THOSE GLASSES!" The bartender gaped in surprise as he handed over the glasses.

"Thank you," he said politely as he returned to his table in a wobbling manner. "So, Haruka-kun…"

"Haruka-chan," she corrected mindlessly. "I'm… girl…" As Seishirou poured another drink he missed the glass entirely before filling up both to the rim.

"Girl?"

"Yep!" She now entered a hyper state. "Wanna see?"

"Ah…" Seishirou frowned in thought. "I don't think I'm that drunk," he replied as he gulped down some more of the poison.

"Mm… I don't go for guys either…" she confided.

"Wha…?" 

"Well, according to Michiru I just don't like 'popular' guys… But you're not popular, am I?"

"Wha…?"

"This is the song that ends!" Haruka sung at the top of her lungs.

"It just goes on and on MY ENEMIES!" Seishirou agreed with a cry in an even more tone-deaf tone.

"Some people started wailing it knowing what it was…!"

"And they'll stop singing it forever JUST because…!"

Both of them sang loudly as they left arm in arm without paying, "THIS IS THE SONG THAT ENDS!!"

All of a sudden they bumped into someone familiar. "Seishirou-san?!" Subaru asked in shock. "Haruka-san?"

"AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!! It's SUBARU-KUN!!" Seishirou exclaimed, stumbling forward as he slung his other arm around his shoulders.

"Subaru-kun? Who's Subaru-kun?" Haruka asked confusedly.

"He's the one I told you about!"

"OH!" She peered closely at the boy. "You should have jumped him. You know you want to! … And Seishirou, you should have tried it too!"

Subaru once again turned red. "WHAT?! I do NOT have a thing for Seishirou-san!"

"Kid, I know when someone lusts after someone else!" Haruka said, serious for a moment. She fell toward him again for a moment, clinging to Seishirou for balance. "HA! You're jealous! Ah HA, I was right! Move over Minako-chan, NOW who's the queen of romance?" Subaru's eyes widened in worry.

"And here I was thinking Haruka-san was the 'big tough guy'…" Subaru mused.

"GIRL!! Big, tough, GIRL! Why can't anyone see that?" Haruka wailed.

"… Ah, sumimasen, Haruka-san. Forgive me for mistaking you for a man!"

"Hmph!" Haruka pouted, the wind rustling her short blonde hair as she stumbled forward with Seishirou's help. "EVERYONE thinks I'm a guy! There's nothing wrong with girls wearing pants!" She smiled lewdly. "Though I DO like those short skirts some of them wear… How come Michiru never wears those short skirts?" She sniffed again.

Subaru glanced at her again in worry. "Ah…. Do I even want to know?" he asked Seishirou.

The tall, dark haired man ignored him and started singing once again, "CAN YOU TELL ME HOW TO GET, HOW TO GET TO SESAME STREET?!"

"YEAH!" Haruka yelled into the night. "TELL ME HOW TO GET TO SESAME STREET! YEAH! SESAME STREET ROCKS!"

Subaru paled in fear as he pulled the two into the Tsukino house. "Someone?" he asked weakly. "Help?"

Hokuto and Usagi popped their heads into the foyer, blinking with interest at the two loudly singing people. "They're REALLY drunk, aren't they?" Hokuto asked.

"People who are drunk act strange!" Usagi said as she observed her two friends. Hokuto nodded as Michiru entered the room.

"HARUKA!"

Haruka gulped guiltily. "Ah, yes, darling?" Seeing her lover's face remain the same, she tried again. "Love of my life? Sun in my world? Goddess? Divinity? Princess? Queen? Your Majesty?"

"You are sleeping on the couch for a week – no, a month – Mr. MAN!" she informed her calmly.

"I'm in trouble, aren't I?" she said meekly.

" 'Trouble' doesn't BEGIN to describe it," Michiru said with an evil grin. She grabbed her lover by the hair and dragged the taller woman out the door, screaming when she discovered the car was gone.

Silence reigned in the room as the four stared at the closed door. "SO!" Usagi said cheerfully. "Subaru-kun! You should REALLY take Sei-chan home!" She pouted as she realized he may not agree and sniffed for effect. "I don't want my BELOVED Sei-chan to get hurt walking all the way back to Shinjuku by himself…" She allowed her eyes to fill with tears as Subaru started to refuse.

"But…. But Usagi-chan…." he looked at her with pure fear. "Usagi-chan, PLEASE…" A single tear ran down the blonde's face.

"Subaru-kun…. How often do I ask things of you?"

"Bu… But Usagi-chan…!" Subaru wailed.

"GO!" Hokuto ordered, shoving the couple out the door. "AND DON'T COME BACK TONIGHT!"

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

"…and now she's dating some guy that's twice her age? Why?! Why does she not even look twice at me? I'm good-looking, smart, mature! What am I doing wrong?!"

"You know, Mamoru-san, when I gave you my phone number, I wasn't planning on giving you advice on how to hook up with my best friend," Rei spoke, tiredly. It was 3 a.m., and she had been on the phone listening to Mamoru whine since 7 last night. Luckily, tomorrow was Sunday, so she could sleep in for a little while, it being her day off.  "Maybe, if you just told her that you liked her, she would break up with this Seiichirou*** guy. Did you think of that?" A stunned silence met her suggestion. She sighed. Figures. Men are idiots. Even Yuuchirou-kun, though he's got a couple redeeming qualities, such as…Grandpa's in the next room, can't go there.

"That's a great idea, Rei-chan! Thank you! Good night!" Mamoru hung up, planning how to win Usagi back from that guy.

"Uh oh. What have I done?!" Rei moaned, as she hung up her end of the phone. She sighed and turned off her light as she crept under the covers. "It doesn't matter. He can't do anything until tomorrow afternoon, anyway, since Usagi won't be up… I'll deal with it tomorrow."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

"YOU NEVER FLIRT WITH ME!" Seishirou restated in a wail.

"That's the base of all your problems, isn't it?" Subaru asked dryly. "Come ON, you've been talking about this for the past three HOURS! Get over it!"

"I could get over it if you flirted with me! And maybe a little more!" Seishirou said hopefully, looking up at Subaru's face from his headrest on Subaru's shoulder.

Subaru sighed. "Seishirou-san, I don't…" he looked down into his crush's golden eyes, and the words he had been about to say withered in his throat. "…I do like you, but…MMMPH!" Seishirou had pulled his face down to him, and was kissing him with a ferocity he had never seen in the older man before. "Seishi…rou-saaan…maybe this isn't…the right….mmmm," his voice trailed off, as the kiss deepened. Seishirou began to push Subaru down onto the couch, but Subaru's eyes widened. "Seishirou-san! Please! Not now!" Startled, Seishirou untangled himself from the younger boy, who stared at him, breathing hard. When Seishirou reached over to him, he flinched away.

"Subaru-kun? I'm sorry, I didn't mean to startle you. Are you ok? Did I hurt you?" the sincere concern in the older man's voice brought Subaru out of his shocked state. 

"I'm fine, I just didn't expect that. Gomen," Subaru hesitantly sat up, leaning against Seishirou. A hand slowly started to stroke his hair, and he relaxed into the caress. Suddenly, he sat up again. "What about Usagi-chan? If she really likes you, I wouldn't want to get in the way!" 

Seishirou smiled. "Don't worry about that. Usagi-chan and I aren't dating. She has a crush on some guy, and your sister decided that the best way to get them, and us, together would be through jealousy."

Subaru's eyes narrowed. "So…it was all a setup?" His mind began to whirl with the thoughts of what he was going to do to his sister when he went home. Wrinkling all of her clothes seemed a good way to start…He was so caught up in his thoughts that he didn't notice Seishirou shifting him.

"Well, yes, but it turned out good, didn't it?" Seishirou's eyes turned worried, as he realized that Subaru might not appreciate being manipulated into a relationship. 

"Don't worry, Seishirou-san. I still love you. I'm just figuring out how to get Nee-chan back for this," Subaru was still coming up with ideas. Maybe catching some cockroaches and placing them in her apartment? He looked up, startled, as Seishirou sighed with relief. "Were you that worried, Seishirou-san?" 

"Actually, yes, but that's ok….Aren't you just a bit uncomfortable in this position?" Subaru suddenly realized that he had somehow been curled up in the corner of the couch, with Seishirou taking up the rest of it.  

"Um, Seishirou-san? How did I get into this position? Last I remembered, I was leaning against you…" Seishirou's hand gently stole up Subaru's throat, cutting off his voice. "Sei…Seishirou-san…what?"

"It's later now. Are you ok with this, Subaru-kun?" Seishirou's voice had deepened, making Subaru shiver with an unknown feeling. He nodded, not trusting his voice to stay steady. "Would you like to move somewhere more comfortable?"

Subaru blinked. "Like where?" he asked innocently.

Seishirou looked surprised, then smiled evilly. Suddenly, he picked up the younger boy, and carried him into his room. Subaru let out a surprised cry, before the door closed on the couple. 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Mamoru grinned evilly, much in the same way Seishirou had done hours earlier. "HA! I've done it! I've spread nasty rumors about Seishirou-san! HA!" The people around him in the arcade cringed at his horrible attempt at evil laughter.

Motoki glanced up at him from cleaning the counter. "Ano… Mamoru-kun… Daijoubu ka?"

"Daijoubu," he said affirmatively. "Why would you think I was anything other than ok?"

Motoki hesitated. It was never a good idea to contradict a mentally unstable person… "… No reason. Why are you so happy? You were really disappointed yesterday."

"My friend, I have concocted the perfect plan to break up Usako and her grandfather-boyfriend!"

"I don't think he's that old. Just a couple years older than us…" Motoki trailed off as Mamoru glared at him. "Never mind. Just keep on with what you were saying."

"Well, I've been spreading rumors saying that the old guy is really gay! Then, when Usako hears the rumors, she'll break up with him!"

"Do you really think that she's that shallow?" Motoki asked, curiously.

"Well, I don't think she should stop being FRIENDS with him, just break up with him. What girl would want to go out with a gay guy?" 

"Just like no guy would want to go out with a lesbian?" Motoki asked, referring to one of Mamoru's previous girlfriends.

"…Well, I didn't know! She must have been bi or at least smart enough to know that I was a catch worth keeping."

"Modest, aren't you?" Motoki rolled his eyes, then waved at someone who had just entered. "Koboku-kun! Over here!"

The gray haired boy walked over, sitting down next to Mamoru. "Hello, Motoki-kun, Mamoru-kun. How are you?"

"Guess what, Koboku-kun?! I've been spreading rumors saying Seishirou-san is gay!" 

Koboku blinked. "Really? So, he's free for me?" He grinned as Mamoru moved away. Glancing up at his food supplier who had just entered, he grinned again. "Ne, Seishirou-san! Are you free tonight? Or are you too busy with your new sex-toy?" Seishirou's eyes blazed. "Koboku, outside. Now!" Looking surprised that Seishirou would raise his voice to HIM, of all trees, he got up and followed Seishirou. 

Mamoru leapt up and lunged at Seishirou, but Motoki held him back. "YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO KILL MY CUSTOMERS!" he yelled.

Suddenly the Inners popped in. "Who's the sex-toy?" Minako inquired innocently.

"Is it someone we know?" Rei demanded. Ami was a beet red, and Makoto was flirting with Motoki as he held Mamoru back firmly.

"It's not YOUR sex-toy, is it Motoki-kun?" Makoto pouted. Motoki choked and released Mamoru in surprise, who cheered.

"I'M FREE!" he exclaimed. His gaze once again became dangerous. "Now I have to KILL you!" He grabbed a plastic fork and aimed for Seishirou's shoulder. "DIE!"

Seishirou stopped lecturing Koboku for a moment. "You do realize you didn't even reach my skin, right?"

Koboku thrust Seishirou's arm out to Mamoru. "Go ahead!" he said excitedly.

"If you want to be fed any time in the next month…" the man trailed off warningly.

Koboku sighed and dropped his arm. "I haven't been fed in the last four months, you know!" He threw his arms around Seishirou and slumped. "I'm DYING!"

"No you're not. If you were dying I would be too," he stated matter-of-factly. Koboku sighed again.

So THAT tactic didn't work… And here I was thinking that once he got laid he'd feed me… 'Seishirou! I want blood!'

'You're acting like a spoiled brat, shut up!'

The tree sobbed in Seishirou's mind as he mentally rolled his eyes. "Oh for crying out loud…"

"Do you want me to start crying out loud?" Koboku asked innocently.

"Shut. Up. LEAVE ME ALONE! And NO talking about my sex-toys, got it?!"

"First Usagi-chan and now Usagi-chan and someone else?!" Mamoru wailed. "DIE!"

"WHAT?!?!" the Inners screeched. "USAGI-CHAN'S THE SEX-TOY?"

"And here I thought she was so innocent…" Minako mused to herself.

"WE HAVE TO KILL HIM!" Makoto and Rei shrieked in unison.

"How DARE you!" Ami yelled, surprising everyone in the arcade. "I… I mean…." She sighed. "Sumimasen."

"NO, Ami-chan, you're right!" Minako added. "Usagi-chan isn't in love with this freak… well, this really, REALLY hot freak… Are you free tonight?"

"No, he's with me!" Koboku inserted, slinging an arm over the taller man's shoulder.

"Let. Go. Of. Me. NOW!"

"Well you SHOULD be! If not WITH me, then FEEDING ME!"

"Leave our personal quarrels OUT of this! Don't you think I have something to deal with here already?!" Seishirou snapped.

"…Well, anyway, like I said, Usagi-chan doesn't love this guy, she loves Mamo-" Minako was suddenly cut off by a hand over her mouth.

"Shut UP, Minako-baka!" Rei snarled under her breath. "You're not supposed to tell him that." 

Mamoru looked at them. "What are you two talking about? All I care about is that THIS guy here is sleeping with Usako and someone else at the same time!"

"How do you know she doesn't like it?" Seishirou asked calmly. "She seemed to enjoy herself last night. And her parents didn't mind TOO much." The group of people surrounding him fell silent and gaped. 

"Usako? You called her 'USAKO'? HA! I knew it! You like her!" Minako pointed and laughed. "And here, everyone else thought you hated her. YOU ALL OWE ME MONEY!" Grumbling, the other girls pulled out their money and shoved some into Minako's hand. Minako grinned evilly. "Well! Now that I'm POSITIVE my services are needed…."

Mamoru paled and ignored Minako for what Seishirou had said. "YOU DIDN'T SLEEP WITH HER!" he wailed.

"Well, if you want… I could always give you the details," Seishirou smirked, remembering his night with Subaru.

"OOH! Details!" Motoki ran over eagerly. "I want DETAILS!" Seishirou stared at him in concern.

"Not THAT kind of details, Motoki-kun. Seishirou-san is straight, if he's sleeping with Usako."

Koboku began to laugh. Seishirou glared at him. "You! SHUT UP! I have an ax and I'm NOT afraid to use it!!!" 

Koboku grinned at him, and turned to leave. "Well, if you get cold tonight, you know where to find me. But then, you'll be with your... 'girlfriend', won't you?" 

'Don't you DARE insult Subaru-kun!'

'I wouldn't dream of it!' Koboku sent back airily. "Bye everyone!" He walked out of the arcade. 

Seishirou growled. "I'm GOING to kill that thing!"

Mamoru suddenly grabbed Seishirou by the shoulders and started to shake him. "YOU. ARE. NOT. ALLOWED. TO. SLEEP. WITH. MY. USAKO!!!"

Seishirou blinked in surprise. I didn't expect Hokuto-chan's plan to work so soon. Well, I didn't expect it to work at ALL, but that's beside the point. "Well, if you want her so badly, go ask her out. We…broke up last night."

"HOW DARE YOU BREAK UP WITH MY USAKO?" He paused, then smirked. "Were you that bad in bed?"

Seishirou's eye twitched. "Wouldn't you like to know? Anyway, she was the one who was bad in bed. I've had much more experience." Mamoru began to try to strangle the older man as the Inners joined him.

Seishirou sighed in irritation as the bell on the door rang. "SEI-CHAN! SO! I heard you got LAID last night!" Hokuto exclaimed happily while Subaru blushed.

"She dragged it out of me," he muttered to his lover. "Gomen nasai."

"Daijoubu," he assured the younger man.

"How would YOU know about it?!" Mamoru growled.

Subaru frowned in confusion. "I was there!"

Mamoru's eyes flared and Seishirou noted it with amusement. "Subaru-kun, Hokuto-chan, because I can't allow MY Subaru-kun to get hurt I suggest you leave now." He escorted them out the door with every intention of turning back, but Subaru dragged him out.

"AWW! HOW CUTE! SUBARU IS PROTECTING HIS BOYFRIEND!" Hokuto squealed loudly.

"NEE-CHAAAN!" Subaru wailed.

Mamoru growled at losing his prey and the new information he had learned. "So he dumped Usako for a GUY?! That's it, NOW he dies!"

"You idiot, you haven't done anything! You've been saying that for a day now, and he's still alive. Well, that's because you're just a guy and you were alone. NOW, you've got four girls with you. We can't fail!" Rei finished her statement, holding up Mamoru's plastic fork like a trophy. The other four sweatdropped. "So, how exactly are we going to kill this guy?" 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Usagi sighed. Mamo-chan STILL hasn't noticed me! I thought Hokuto-chan said that he'd become jealous and try to get me back, but he hasn't done a THING! Well, I could always call Hokuto-chan and see if Seishirou-san and Subaru-kun got laid last night. With that thought in mind, she rolled over on her bed and picked up the phone.

"Moshi moshi?" asked a high, bouncy voice.

"Hokuto-chan?" That was as far as she got, before Hokuto started to babble on what her brother had done last night.

"Guess what, Usagi-chan? Subaru didn't come home last night! I was SOOOO happy! And then I managed to talk him into telling me what happened! AAAHHH! Can you believe it? My baby brother got laid! He's all grown up!" Usagi was silent for a moment.

"Does that mean that I'M not grown up?" She pouted.

"OF COURSE NOT, USAGI-CHAN! It's just he's my baby brother! OH! I should go 'celebrate' with Kakyou, my boyfriend. Talk to you later, ok? Ja!" And Usagi was left with her ear to the dial tone.

"… EVERYONE has a boyfriend. EVEN SUBARU-KUN!" she wailed. "It's not fair!"

"Sweetie, wasn't that young man that you brought home last night your boyfriend?" Ikuko asked, popping her head into her daughter's room.

"NOOO!" she wailed again. "HE'S SUBARU-KUN'S!"

Her mother blinked in surprise. "Oh," she said finally. "That's nice. Well, I guess you'll just have to wait a little while longer to have your boyfriend. Don't worry, sweetie, you'll have one in time." With that, the older woman left. Usagi sighed.

"But why can't Mamo-chan notice me NOW?" she asked softly.

"WHO'S MAMO-CHAN?" a familiar voice demanded. "PLEASE tell me there's not a Mamo-chan now too!"

Usagi blinked and turned around quickly. "Ma—Mamoru-san? What are you doing in my window?"

"That doesn't matter!" he said decisively. "PLEASE! TELL ME WHO MAMO-CHAN IS!" So I can kill him, he added silently.

He is SO stupid, Usagi thought to herself. But I love him! "Mamoru-san…" she hesitated. Should I tell him? "Mamoru-san, 'Mamo-chan' doesn't matter."

"YES HE DOES! I HAVE TO KILL HIM FOR DARING TO TAKE YOU AWAY FROM ME!" Mamoru announced. Usagi's breath caught.

"Mam—Mamoru-san, what do you mean?"

"I MEAN I NEARLY KILLED SEISHIROU-SAN FOR YOU AND I'LL KILL THIS MAMO-CHAN TOO!"

"Why'd you nearly kill Sei-chan?" she asked in confusion.

"BECAUSE HE SLEPT WITH YOU!"

"… And WHEN would I find out about this?" she demanded.

"… HOW COULD YOU NOT? AND THEN HE CALLED YOU HIS SEX-TOY!" Mamoru wailed.

"Did he actually call ME his sex-toy, or did he just say he HAD a sex-toy?" Usagi asked.

"…He just said that he had a sex-toy, and since he was dating YOU, I kinda assumed it was you…"

"Mamo-chan no baka! He was talking about SUBARU-KUN!"

"Well, he dumped you for a guy! That is unforgivable…what did you call me?"

Usagi smiled up at Mamoru sweetly. "YOU wouldn't dump me for a guy, right Mamo-chan?" Mamoru stared at her in shock. 

"I…ah…wha?" Usagi shook her head in amusement. 

"Mamo-chan, let me say this plainly. I like you. Apparently, you like me TOO, from what you said. So, we should start dating. Don't you think?"

"Yeah, but…. Are you serious?! I'd love to date you! I love you, Usako!" With that, he pulled Usagi into his arms and kissed her. Her eyes widened in shock. I didn't think he'd go this fast! Though, I think that's good. Right? "And, I'd never dump you for a guy, Usako! Anyone who does that is gay!"

"Yes, Mamo-chan, that makes sense." He blushed. Just then, they heard Ikuko call up to her daughter that they were leaving for a movie. Usagi grinned evilly. Now her plan could be put into action. She slowly slid her hand up his back. "Mamo-chan?" she asked innocently, fiddling with the hair at the back of his neck.

"Hai, Usako?"

"Can we lay down?" She blinked as her boyfriend sent her a concerned look.

"Usako, I don't think –"

"I'm uncomfortable this way," she pouted. "It's uncomfortable to lean up so far. If we lay down I can be right next to you."

"Usako… I REALLY don't think --- "

"So don't!" she said helpfully as she pushed him down. She half-lay on his chest. "So… What's new with you?"

"Um…" Mamoru closed his eyes trying to think. "Nothing?"

"That's not possible! SOMETHING must have been happening!" she stated, looking up at him with wide eyes. "ANYTHING interesting?"

"Well, I tried to kill your former boyfriend this morning with a plas – " Mamoru was interrupted as Usagi's mouth crashed down onto his.

"Umph?" He moaned as her hands trailed lower. "U… Usa… Usako…!" He managed as her mouth followed her hands. "Usako, we… We reaAALLY…!"

"Mamo-chan, I love you, but you really shouldn't think," she told him softly, lifting her head for a moment and breathing hard. "Don't worry about it. I won't hurt you, I promise." She grinned darkly. "And I won't bite… Unless you want me to, of course."

Mamoru choked. "Usako, really, you're…"

"If you say I'm too young I'll have to be hard on you!" she warned. He moaned incoherently at the images her words called up. Mamoru groaned again as he decisively turned her over.

"MAMO-CHAN!" Usagi giggled accusingly. "And WHAT do you think you're doing?"

"You."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

"SO!" Makoto said, pounding her fist into her other hand. "WHAT should we do to Seishirou-san?"

"We should castrate him!" Rei replied.

Haruka frowned. "You know, I think we bonded last night. I mean, we were singing Sesame Street!" Everyone stared at her. "Don't listen to me."

"… Back to killing Seishirou-san!" Minako announced. Ami glanced up from her Physics book.

"I know where he lives!" she mentioned.

Everyone leaned toward her with hungry looks on their faces. "How did you learn that?" Michiru inquired calmly.

"… I looked it up on the net," she said simply. "Sakurazuka Seishirou, 1-2, Shinjuku 1-chome, Chuo-ku, Tokyo, 123-4567****."

"GREAT! We could hide in his apartment until he comes home and then… We could knock him out, tie him up, and interrogate him!"

"Minako-chan… Did you change your favorite genre of movies?" Ami asked worriedly.

Minako sweatdropped. "What?"

"Can I go with you?" Motoki asked. "I want DETAILS!"

Everyone sweatdropped. "Well, we COULD use a guy…" Makoto said hopefully.

"What do you think I'M here for?" Haruka pouted.

"Well… We could use a FREE GUY," Minako emphasized.

"What are you saying?" Haruka asked.

"So I can come?! YEAH! Now I finally get to know DETAILS!" Motoki cheered. Makoto sighed, and dragged him along behind her as seven people made their way slowly through Tokyo. 

"So, where are we going?" Motoki asked cluelessly.

"Idiot," Haruka muttered under her breath. As they wandered around Tokyo, her patience with Motoki wore thinner and thinner. When they finally found Seishirou's apartment building about two hours later, she was ready to strangle him.

When they entered, the four Inners and Motoki snuck down the hallway, hiding behind random plants and pillars. Haruka and Michiru sweatdropped and walked calmly behind them. Finally, they got to Seishirou's apartment. Minako knocked on the door, which swung open at her hand. 

"OH! He left the door open! That's not good for security." Minako walked inside, completely unaware that she was breaking and entering. The others followed her inside, but stopped short at the sight of the grayish haired teenager on the couch. 

"Hi! Who are you?" Minako asked cheerily.

"Sakki Koboku. And you?" 

Everyone else introduced themselves, except for Motoki who asked, "Ne, Koboku-kun, why are you just sitting here staring at a blank TV screen?"

"Well, anywhere else in the apartment, it's very…loud because of the intruder in Seishirou's bedroom who's…breaking stuff and…screaming."

"OH! We're the heroes of Tokyo, we have to go take care of this intruder!" Holding up her transformation pen, she marched off to the bedroom. 

Motoki ran in front of her. "I want details!!"

Koboku's eyes widened. "I wouldn't go in… never mind," as he heard the screams of shock from the two blondes. The other senshi ran in quickly, worried that their friends were hurt. They stared at the red-faced young boy huddled in the middle of the bed, and the shirtless older man leaning over him protectively. 

"You know, you have the worst timing. And YOU! What did you think you think you were doing here?!"

Koboku held up a sheaf of papers. "Looking through your faxes." Seishirou stared at him. 

"When did I get those?" 

"Well, these ten were from FOUR months ago. These seventeen were from THREE months ago. These twenty were from TWO months ago. And these HUNDRED were from this month and last month. Haven't gotten any jobs, huh?"

"Do you have to talk about this here?"

"What does he mean, 'jobs'? You're a vet! You've had plenty of jobs?" Subaru inquired, peeking out from under the blanket he had hidden under.

"… I'll explain later." MUCH later, he thought to himself.

"You're a pimp, aren't you?" Minako asked Seishirou. 

"WHAT?!" Subaru demanded, flushing even deeper.

"NO!" Seishirou replied strongly. "All people are idiots," he murmured to himself. "OK! THAT'S IT! Everyone out of my bedroom!" He sighed as everyone left the large bedroom, eyeing Subaru as he began to pull his clothes back on. He moved over to him, wrapping his arms around his lover's waist as he breathed into his ear, "Would you like me to help you… dress… my Subaru-kun?" he inquired.

Subaru turned an even deeper shade of red, almost purple, and shook his head violently as he push Seishirou away and threw one of his large shirts at him. Seishirou sighed again and winked at his lover's reflection in his full-length mirror. "Once we get them to leave we can get back to our 'exercise'," he promised the younger man. Again Subaru's flush deepened as Seishirou left.

He took a few extra minutes to let the redness in his face disappear before he left the room. Though not for long, if Seishirou-san will act on his promise. He sighed as once again a red blush spread across his face.

"Well, I've dawdled long enough," he told himself with another sigh as he left the room. "Kami-sama help me…"

When Subaru entered the living room Seishirou and Haruka had started talking. "So, Haruka-chan, how was your hang over this morning. Mine was a monster, especially since CERTAIN people wouldn't SHUT UP," he shot a glare at Koboku, "but it was nothing that my Subaru-kun couldn't handle."

Subaru's flush deepened again as he turned around and headed back toward the bedroom before Seishirou pulled him down onto his lap. "HOW DARE YOU CALL ME HARUKA-CHAN?" Haruka shrieked.

"You told me to call you that last night!" Seishirou reminded her calmly. The Inners gaped.

"HARUKA-SAN!" Ami gasped.

"Daijoubu, Ami-chan, she was drunk," Michiru explained. All the Inners sighed a breath of relief.

"Right before you told me how good Michiru-san was in bed," Seishirou lied easily.

"HARUKA!" Michiru yelled. Haruka blanched. "YOU ARE ON THE COUCH FOR A MONTH AFTER WHAT I ALREADY GAVE YOU!"

"Oh, was I not supposed to say that?" asked Seishirou, innocently. Subaru snorted. 

"You know very well you weren't supposed to say that, Seishirou-san!" Subaru muttered. Louder, he added, "Haruka-san didn't say that, Michiru-san. Seishirou-san is just being mean."

"How would you know? Were you in the bar with them?"

"NO! But, I know Seishirou-san. It's something he would do. Plus they were really nice to each other while they were singing Sesame Street. And, I asked the bouncers. Apparently, they were singing Lamb Chop earlier. They didn't have time to talk about you." Michiru looked at her lover.

"Lamb Chop?! I knew there was a reason you won't let me watch TV with you from  to 2:30." Haruka blushed bright red. 

"I haven't watched Lamb Chop for years! Honest!"

"Well, that doesn't really matter now, Haruka-san. I want to know how Seishirou knows Lamb Chop." Koboku grinned at Seishirou. "Well? Care to share with us?" 

"You already know, seeing as you're with me at all times of the day. Shut up."

'I swear I'll feed you fifteen people tonight, if you leave right now!'

'How do I know you'll keep your word?'

'I swear by my mother's grave!'

'Nice try. I AM your mother's grave.'

'Fine, I swear by Subaru-kun! Happy?'

'Yes.' Koboku suddenly stood up. "I have to go now. Have fun, you guys!" He walked out.

"Has anyone noticed that Koboku-kun always smells like sakura?" Motoki asked to no one in particular. Seishirou sweatdropped. "He also has sakura petals around him sometimes… Does he spend a lot of time in Juuban Park."

"No, not really," Seishirou told him.

"How do you know him?" Subaru demanded, feeling slightly jealous.

"I'll explain later," he murmured. "In private."

"Well, we've done what we came here to do!" Minako declared.

"No we haven't," Rei informed her. "Our goal was to kill him."

"Well, that doesn't matter now!" Minako decided. "He's sleeping with Subaru-san. He's nothing to worry about."

Ami stood quickly, holding in her sigh of relief. "Sorry for disturbing you, Sakurazuka-san, Subaru-san. We'll leave now."

"But… But…" Makoto pouted, knowing that when they left she and Motoki would have to go their separate ways.

"NOW, Mako-chan!" Ami said firmly. They all stared at her, and she attempted to ignore them as she dragged them all out of the apartment.

"Ami-chan, do you have a fever?" Haruka was heard from down the hall.

Subaru turned to Seishirou. "So how do you know Koboku-san?"

"Well, you know about mind-bonding, right?" At Subaru's nod, he continued, "My mother, overprotective parent that she was, decided to mind-bond the two of us for our protection. So, technically, we're always together. Of course, either of us can block the link at anytime we want. Such as now." Saying that he picked up his lover and carried him back to the bedroom. "So, where were we?"

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Usagi attempted to calm her breathing. Mamoru stroked her hair gently. "Are you ok?" he asked softly.

"Of course!" she said at the same pitch. "I'm with you!" Mamoru had to smile at her innocence. 

Well, not so innocent anymore, is she? Guilt started seeping into his mind. "You're sure you're not hurt? Are you sure you're ok with what we did?"

"Mamo-chan… I was the one who jumped you, not the other way around." She smiled at him as she lazily traced patterns on his bare chest.

"But Usako… I still should have known better," the older man said in a rebuking tone to himself. "I mean… You were a virgin and I wasn't exactly gentle…"

Usagi sighed again in half annoyance and pulled him into her arms. "You think too much!" she murmured in his ear. "Here we are: a couple, alone in a LARGE house, who are in love with each other… Why are we still coherent enough for conversation?"

"You're insatiable, aren't you?!" Mamoru inquired with a grin, purposefully trying to ignore what she was alluding to. "Didn't we only JUST stop?"

"Hmph!" Usagi said disappointedly. She pouted for a while, and when she realized it wouldn't work she sighed. "Well, if you're not going to be any fun then I'm going to go take a shower," she said decisively as she threw the covers off, then turned to face him. "Wanna join me?" 

Mamoru groaned. "Haven't you gotten enough already? I'm too tired! Three times is waaaay too many in one night. Or, in this case, day."

"Oh, have I tired poor Mamo-chan out? Huh. Maybe I should go see if Sei-chan has any energy," Usagi laughed at the furious expression on Mamoru's face.

"I have much more energy than that old geezer ever will!" he snarled. 

"So…why don't you prove it?" Usagi raced into the bathroom, closely followed by Mamoru.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

THE NEXT DAY:

Mamoru and Usagi walked into the arcade, arms around each other. The usual customers stared at the pair, amazed that neither was dead yet. 

"So, Usako, what would you like to order? My treat."

"REALLY?! Well, I want a chocolate ice cream, with whipped cream, sprinkles, cherry syrup, and a naked Mamo-chan on top!" Mamoru paused. 

"I don't think I can give you ALL of that right now. How about you get the 'naked Mamo-chan' at home?" 

Motoki looked sick. "Ok, you two. Please! I saw two guys making out last night. Don't mention sex around me, PLEASE!" The blonde man had a desperate look on his face. "PLEASE!" he begged in a whisper.

"Ok, Motoki-kun. Mamo-chan, how about I just have Mamo-chan with a side of ice cream?" she asked.

"No, Usako," he told her firmly. "So you want chocolate ice cream with whipped cream, sprinkles, and cherry syrup?"

Usagi grinned with an evil glint in her eye. "No, I want a banana."

"Wha… What?" Mamoru asked in confusion.

The blonde girl sighed. "Ok, I suppose a banana split. With extra sprinkles please, Motoki-kun!"

"Anything for you, Mamoru-kun?"

"I'll just take a normal ice cream, thank you."

"Coming right up!" Seishirou, Subaru, Hokuto, and Koboku entered the arcade. Motoki chose that moment to look up. "NO!" he wailed. "BAD IMAGE! BAD, BAD IMAGE!"

Subaru blushed red. "WHAT?" Hokuto demanded. "WHAT HAPPENED?"

"Motoki-san walked in on our foreplay," Seishirou informed her tiredly.

"I warned him!" Koboku stated. "But of course NO ONE listens to ME…"

"I FED YOU DIDN'T I?" Seishirou demanded, finally snapping. "DEAL WITH IT!"

"Sheesh!" Koboku muttered to himself. "I mean, sure you had a long night…"

"Don't you DARE start!" Seishirou growled warningly.

"Can I have an ice cream?" Hokuto asked cheerfully. Seishirou sighed.

"Of course. Subaru-kun? What would you like?" he asked.

"I'd like a strawberry cone please."

"Hokuto-chan?"

"Pistachio!"

"Can I have a packet of ketchup and a fudge cone?" Koboku inquired hopefully.

"Go to hell."

"SEISHIROU-SAN!" Subaru scolded.

"I'm not buying that ungrateful bastard food!"

"SEI-CHAN!"

Seishirou sighed. "Does anyone care that I was up until five a.m. feeding this stupid tree?" he muttered to himself. "NO! THEY just care that I call him an ungrateful bastard the next day when he tells me to BUY him food!"

Hokuto glared at him. "Sei-chan, buy him the food!" she ordered. Seishirou sighed again and pulled out his wallet.

Mamoru stood up abruptly. "Mamo-chan?" Usagi asked worriedly.

"I haven't killed him yet!" he informed her.

"What?"

"Seishirou-san!"

Usagi frowned in confusion. "WHY do you have to kill Sei-chan? Didn't I tell you?"

"NOOOOOO!" he said.

"I could have SWORN I told you!" she murmured to herself. "Ah HA! I DID! It was right after the shower and right after we went back to my bed!"

"WHAT did you tell me? I wasn't exactly thinking straight at that point in time!" Mamoru nearly shrieked.

"That Sei-chan and I were only going out to make you and Subaru-kun jealous."

"… What?"

"I. Love. You. Sei-chan. Loves. Subaru-kun. Hokuto-chan ---"

"I don't want to hear anymore!" Mamoru said worriedly. 

Usagi glared at him before she finished, "Orders. Us. To. Go. Out. We date, you two get jealous, bada-bing, bada-boom, we're both in the guys we want's pants."

Mamoru choked. "All you wanted was to get into my pants?"

"Basically," Usagi teased. Seeing his hurt expression, she said, "I'm just kidding, Mamo-chan. I agreed to the plan because I loved you so much and I was desperate because you didn't seem to acknowledge that I existed outside of arguing with me."

"Usako…" Mamoru murmured softly, pulling her into his embrace. He caressed her hair gently. "Aisuru… How did you think it was for me? I'm twenty-one, you're sixteen. It may not be legally wrong, but by most people's standards you're still too young for what we're doing. So I attempted to push you away."

"Oh, Mamo-chan… Aishiteru," she breathed softly.

"I love you too, Usako," he murmured back. He sat silently as he watched her finish her ice cream in his arms. "Would you like to go back to my apartment now?"

Usagi nodded, grinning up at him. "Let's go."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Kizuki Kakyou and Meiou Setsuna watched the two couples leave, wrapped in each other's arms. 

"It's sad that they'll have to go through so much pain, before they're finally together," Setsuna commented sadly. Kakyou nodded his agreement, too busy caught up in watching his soon-to-be-dead girlfriend to pay much attention to his companion. 

"At least they will stay together," he added. "They won't entirely ruin each other's lives."

"You mean by Seishirou-san killing Hokuto-san?" Setsuna inquired.

"Please don't remind me."

"Well, you still have seven more months," she replied. 

"And I don't want to waste that time, so I'll be leaving now, Setsuna-san."

Setsuna watched the new figure approach the female Sumeragi, and sighed. "Poor things. They're too young to go through all of this. Well, I suppose it can't be helped. The future must occur."

THE END

* Sakki means 'thirst for blood', and Koboku means 'Old tree', so for a blood-drinking tree it's a good name. ^_^ (Courtesy of Angel.)

** One million yen equals 7,509 U.S dollars or 5,230 English pounds.

*** Aoki Seiichirou is a Dragon of Heaven, in X/1999 who is a mild mannered, family person. The exact opposite of Sei-chan! Princess cuts in. She meant Seishirou-san, but she can't think straight when she's around him. Angel drools mindlessly over her assassins.

**** This is an actual address found at www2.eryokan.co.jp/e/japan/atoz.htm


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